Stevens: Our family tale: Mommy Overload

As a full time stay at home mom and homeschooler, there are times when I wish I could just run away. I don't mean forever but maybe for a day or two.
Don't get me wrong I love my family and I love being a mom. It just starts to get draining when you do the same thing day in and day out, for weeks or months or years at a time.
I have been a mom for almost 11 years now and have been a homeschool mom for the past 4 or 5 years now(not sure the years have sort of blurred together).
Since being a mom I have learned so much about myself: I can't handle puke. I really don't like Dora(how many times does she need to say the same thing, trust me I have to do that enough already). I am not a morning person or night owl, but I can be if I absolutely have to. I ~~like~~ need at least 8 hours of sleep to function well. I hate feet but not if they belong to a 3 year old or younger. I love toddler bellies, and belly laughs. These are just a few, but there are so, so many more.
We all know the mommy duties, cooking (3 meals and at least 2 snacks per day), Cleaning everything(bathrooms, bed rooms, kitchens, living rooms, family rooms, toy rooms, closets, home offices, and everything else I can't think of right now), and laundry(our huge family has at least 7-10 loads per week). Lets not forget managing the family finances, play dates, child care and above all a marriage. If we some how manage it, throw in being a daughter, a sister and a friend.
Now for me as a homeschool mom add to the above, lesson plans(for grades k-7th grade in different subjects), teaching(all grades and subjects), grading, my own learning and research, and throw in overwhelming doubts and feelings of failure on all levels.
You see this is what I do day in and day out. Most of the time I love it and most of the time it is no problem, but at times I feel full of mommy overload. Like at any minute this mommy is going to drop and be down for the count.
Thankfully I have an amazing husband that recognizes "mommy overload" (when I start being short tempered and cry about everything). He often steps in and tells me to go take some time to myself. I love this and hate this at the same time. I feel guilty for not being able to do it all, and do it all well, all the time. I feel happy that he cares and is perceptive enough to take over(at least for a little bit). I feel weird about leaving my "job". I have mixed feelings about alone time, I know I need it but I would rather have "me time" with another adult that I love, usually with a BFF, that also lives my kind of life(aka Zo).
Lately I can tell that I am getting close to mommy overload. So I am writing this so that one day when my daughters read this, that they can know (not only that their mom is amazing ;)) that it is, okay. It is okay to feel overwhelmed doing the job that is the most important, that is is okay to feel overwhelmed doing what you love, that it is okay to take time for yourselves, that it is okay to need a break, that it is okay to to talk about how you are feeling, and that it is okay to try your best(even if you didn't make it, try again).
When my sons read this one day I want them to know (not only that their mom is amazing ;)) that it is okay. It is okay for your wife to need help, it is okay that your wife is tired, it is okay for you to step in when your wife needs you(even if she doesn't ask), its okay to for you to feel overwhelmed with the duties of providing for a family, it is okay to need your wife, it is okay to try your best(even if you didn't reach it, try again).
This is something I read often (Because She Is a Mother)
"Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Husbands—especially husbands-..... and friends in every direction, be helpful and sensitive and wise. Remember, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”

Mothers, we acknowledge and esteem your faith in every footstep. Please know that it is worth it then, now, and forever." - Jeffery R Holland

I know that I could not do what I do with out the help of the Lord. I know that I need God and my savior Jesus Christ in everything that I do.

Until next time. Love you C,M,B,C,E, and L.