For this blog I will try to shorten the story as much as possible without losing any key details. When I wrote this in my journal it was 10 pages long.
One week ago our sweet Tabitha was born but that's not where the story starts. For the beginning we have to go back to Thursday November 2nd.
On Thursday November 2nd as we were dropping the kids off at school my water broke. We left the kids at school and went home to wait for labor to start. Contractions began and were regular, about 10 to 15 minutes apart. They were not painful just a bit annoying, it lasted like this for about 4 hours. Then they just stopped. I decided to take a nap and just rest until the kids got home from school. After they were home we went about the rest of our day, dinner, baths, bed and still no contractions. In the middle of the night I was awoken to more contractions. I thought it was going to start, that this was it! It's now Friday November 3rd early in the morning the house is still sleeping as I sit in the living room beginning what I thought was early labor. After 4 hours of regular contractions again that we're still not painful I decided it was time to wake up Colt to go for a walk. The kids were still sleeping as Colt and I got into the car and drove to the beach. If I was going to walk I was going to walk at my favorite place. As we walked along the beach my contractions became a little more serious but, not closer together. I did have to focus to get through some of them. After a while we headed back home to be with the kids as they started to wake up. We carried on with the rest of our day with regular contractions coming for a few hours then stopping for a few hours, then coming for a few hours then stopping for a few hours. That evening after getting all the kids into bed Colt and I decided to walk for a few miles around the neighborhood to see if that would help get things going. No such luck. So we went to bed.
3am Saturday November 4th, I was once again laboring in the living room alone. This time the contractions were 7-10 minutes apart. Not painful but not easily ignored. After another restless night of contractions with no obvious progress, I called my friend and asked her if she could take my kids for the day. Later that morning I talked to my midwife and as we discussed what was going on and what was not going on and we decided my water must have resealed and I was not in, nor would
I be going into labor anytime soon. Feeling defeated, tired, and overwhelmed with emotions I needed some distractions. My friend, Malia suggested we go for a walk with all the kids to go get lunch. We walked about a mile down to Chick fil A. While we were sitting at lunch I started contracting again. I was so irritated by this that I refused to time them. After a few hours of regular contractions, Colt and Malia kept saying that I should let Karly, my midwife know what was going on. I didn't want to because this had been happening for the last few days with nothing to show for it and I didn't want to bother Karly while she was at her midwifery conference, for what I thought was no reason. When we got back to our house I wanted to dance. So we had a dance party.A couple of hours of dancing and my water started leaking again. Colt and Malia had been secretly timing my contractions and they were both getting worried that it was getting serious. They kept pushing that I should call Karly because her conference was 2 hours away. I still refused because although the contractions were close and regular I was not in pain. I only had to stop and breath through every 3rd or 4th contraction. So in my mind I was still in denial that I was in fact in labor. Finally after seeing the concern on their faces I called Karly and let her know what was going on. Karly decided that it was time for her to come and told me she would be at our house in a couple of hours. Karly arrived around 8:40 pm. Even after Karly got to our house and set up the birthing pool and I was having some pain with contractions I was still in denial that I was in labor. Karly checked me and told me I was 4-5 cm. I continued to labor as I walked around the house. We finally sent the kids to bed around 10pm and told them we would wake them up when it was time. A bit later I was ready to get into the pool. I labored in the pool for a awhile then the contractions started to space out and fade away again!
I felt defeated and broken like; Why wasn't my body
working? Why wouldn't it do what it's supposed to do?
Why wouldn't this baby just come already?
Sunday November, 5th.
Karly suggested I go lay in bed and try to rest for a while. I kind of slept I am not sure for how long but it felt like a couple of hours. I was woken up by a very painful contraction that caught me off guard. I thought it was a dream and fell back asleep right after it but not too long after I got hit with another one, nope not a dream. Labor was back on. I got out of bed and began pacing the dining room as Colt reheated the water in the birthing pool. When it was warm enough I got back in. I labored for a few more hours this time in a lot of pain. Holding on to Colt begging for him to help me in some way, but there was nothing he could do. All he could do was encourage me, help me to breathe, and remind me that I could do it. Karly check me again and told me I was at 6 cm. What?! Only 6cm?! There was no way I was going to make it to 10cm! I was exhausted, and in so much pain. This is when I lost it, lost my mind. I remember saying through tears and crys of pain...
"This is so stupid! Why would anyone do this at home? I can't do this! Colt, make it stop! Please, I am done. I am never going to be able to do this. Homebirth is so dumb! Take me to the hospital, I need an epidural! Please take me. I can't do this. I am only a 6 I have forever to go! I am never going to make it. My body isn't working. It's been 3 days, I am so tired! Please take me to the hospital! Colt help me! This is too hard!"
5:45 a.m. I got out of the pool and went to my bed room to get my robe so I could go to the hospital. Karly asked me a few times if that is really what I wanted to do. YES! So she called the hospital and they had no room for me. She called 3 more hospitals and all of them said they were short staffed and full. I over heard these conversations as I was on the floor in my bed room crying and begging Heavenly Father to give me strength. Malia was getting the kids up and ready to take them home with her. Karly was on the phone and trying to pack up her stuff. Colt was packing a bag for the hospital. Finally I couldn't wait anymore. I stood myself up and started walking out the door. If they weren't going to drive me to the hospital I was going to drive myself. (See lost my mind). I got 3 steps out the door and let out a crazy yell/roar very animal like and my robe flew open. I was butt naked yelling in my front yard(picture it for a great laugh) " SOMETHING IS COMING OUT!" I turned and ran back inside and squat down on the birthing stool. Karly fell to knees and yelled "It's a head!". I pushed twice on the stool. Then I had a moment of clarity and decided I wanted to get back in the pool (I didn't want the floor to get dirty). I somehow leaped back into the pool and crawled across it thinking if I moved in a forward motion fast enough I could get away from the the pain and pressure that was "behind" me. I was stopped by the wall of the pool and now had no other choice but to push through the pain, pressure and burning. I pushed a couple more times and then she was here!
"I did it! I did it!" Was all I could say. Through tears in my eyes I scooped my baby out of the water. "I did it."
Tabitha was born safely at home at 6:28 a.m.
It is a journey I will never forget. I couldn't have done it with out my amazing husband Colt, my wonderful midwife Karly, and my great friend Malia! They were my rock star team!
