Not Freaking Out

So we have been in this lovely condo in San Diego for 2 months, 1 week, and 5 days. It has been perfect for us. We love the area, our neighbors, and our church ward. Today I realized our lease ends in 4 weeks! The part that caught me off guard was not the fact that it would be here before we know it, or the fact that we have no idea where we are going to live after this; it was the fact that I did NOT freak out.

Since we have been traveling there have been many times where we had no idea where we would be traveling to next let alone where we would be "living" once we got there, and each and every time I would go through my same emotions...

1. Excitement- ready to see where we will go next
2. Anxiety- not sure how it will work out
3. Fear- that we will end up living in our car (irrational? yes, but a fear all the same)
4. Stressed- trying to find a place to stay in the new city
5. Hopeful- we have things in order and things are looking good
6. Relief- we have made it to our new city and are settled in
7. Excitement- ready to explore and find our local favorites

The list above is me freaking out. Colt is there to tell me not to worry and that everything will be just fine. It has always been "just fine".

The idea of  getting an RV came up again because it is getting harder and harder to find a place to stay with our size family. The person on the other end of the line hears, "I have 5 kids." and the usual response is something like, "Wow, sorry but that wont work for us." And just like that another option is crossed off our list. Anyways back to the RV, we found "the one" it was great, it was just what we were looking for and the price range we were looking at. We could totally picture our family making it our "home to go". As it turned out while going through the process of getting the loan an error was discovered on Colt's credit report and therefor was denied. This really was a punch to the gut as we were hoping that this would be our new "home" and had never been denied for anything ever. We have since figured out the error and are getting it taken care of, the third part has taken full responsibility for their mistake. (I wonder if we can sue, because their mistake has kind of screwed us (if you are a lawyer let me know)) Anyways, it has been lessons learned #1 people are more than a number #2 monitor your credit report and #3 Devry University-CS student accounts department is stupid. 

We are now in the crazy position where we have to deiced on one of the following options

• Find a new furnished place in the area. Which would cost $8,000- $10,000 you know they want firsts, lasts and a deposit up front.(this would end our chance to get an RV once the report is fixed)
• Wait until his credit report is fixed and reapply for a loan and cross our fingers that the RV is still available (about 30 days we have been told) 
• Try to find a hotel that is willing to take per diem during their peak season

As you can see there are plenty of reason for me to freak out but I am not. I know that this is the crazy adventure that we signed up for when we decided to join Colt on the road. I also know that since this was not just a decision made on a whim, but with guidance from the Lord that he will not fail us as long as we continue to trust in him. 

Until next time. I love you C,M,B,C,E, and L

This is me by the calendar NOT freaking out!

My Lack of Sympathy (Please don't judge me, nevermind I don't care what you think, so go ahead and judge away)

     I love my husband and kids I really do. I just can't seem to deal with them when the are sick AND whiny. I do what is needed to take care of them and make sure they are okay but for some reason the moment they start to whine and complain is the moment that I loose my patients. 

     Yes I understand being sick sucks and yes I understand that you don't feel well (see I have empathy). When I am sick and don't feel well all I want is to be left alone and to be able to sleep. My husband and kids on the other hand seem to need constant attention when they are sick, and not because there is an intimidate need, but just because.

     CJ is by far my most whiny when he is sick. Last night he vomited a few times and in between he just whined and moaned and cried. I didn't mind getting up in the middle of the night and helping him clean up the mess or getting him a drink but as soon as I heard the moaning and crying I lost it. I told him to "shut up, stop whining and go back to bed." (see no sympathy). Not my finest moment as a mother, I know that. I could try and blame it on my lack of sleep but the truth is I hate it even when I am fully rested and it is the middle of the day.

     Colt has been getting better and becoming less and less needy when he is sick as the years have gone on. I don't think it has been by his choice, but because of the frustration and complete annoyance he can read on my face. I love him and want him be healthy and well but that doesn't have to include whiny so everyone knows you don't feel well (trust me I already know).

   Like a character on one of my favorite shows (Grey's Anatomy) recently said "There are two kinds of sick men: the kind like Jackson who go and crawl under a rock, stoic and stubborn, and men like Ben, who turn into total babies."  She continues on by saying "Count your blessing that he is the first one."

To the future spouses of my children, I am trying very hard to make my children like "Jackson" when they are sick. I am trying to teach them to suck it up, toughen up, and just get through it and move on. I hope one day you will thank me for this, because the other option is so obnoxious. If I am not successful with this I apologize and wish you the best of luck.

Until next time, I love you C,M,B,C,E, and L!   

Babies

     We recently got to spend time with my sister in Las Vegas. We went and stayed with her to be there when her and her husband welcomed their second child. A beautiful baby girl. It was so nice to hold and cuddle a newborn baby. Newborns are just so precious and they smell wonderful. I miss having a new baby around, but I don't miss the sleepless nights or the leaky boobs, or the baby weight to loose (oh never mind still have that).

     Today MY baby turned 2. There is something about that birthday that changes them form baby to child. Colt and I have had at least one kid(sometimes two) in the "baby" stage for 10 years! We are not having anymore babies so this was it, our LAST baby. I always said I never wanted to be "that mom" you know the one, that "babies" their "baby". I am trying very hard to keep my word, but it is proving difficult on some things. All the other kids lost their pacifiers by 18 months, she still has hers for naps and bed. On the NOT, babying my baby part of things, we are doing well at making sure she helps clean up, that she gets time out when needed, and that her temper tantrums are ignored (just like the rest of them). Now to try and teach the older kids not to "baby" their baby sister. 

I always wondered why my baby sisters always got to do everything that I was never allowed to do at the same age, and I think I figured it out! When you are from a large family the parents just get too tired, worn down and lazy by the time the "baby" of the family is old enough and starts asking to do things. Sometimes it is easier to just say yes, than it is to explain and fight.

Dear Lindy,

If I ever seem really hard on you. Or you think that I am sooo mean. If you ever feel like I just want to ruin your life, or that I have it out for you. Remember this, I am sorry, because I was probably over compensating to make sure I didn't become "that mom" that "babies her baby". If I somehow become "that mom" I am sorry, because I have probably ruined you for life(not intentionally) by making you whiny and needy and self centered. Either way I love you.

                                           Love, Mom

Sisters oldest to youngest with baby Millie.

Tio Colt with baby Millie.

Lindy holding baby Millie.

Savanah, Millie and Tia Gen.

Millie Louise on her blessing day.

Birthday princess Lindy Loo!

Month One San Diego Update

  We have been enjoying the weather here in San Diego!!! After we get our school work and house work done we take full advantage to head out to the park, the beach, or the pool. I would stay here forever if we could. Colt says he loves San Diego, but hates that it is in California. I occasionally do a job search and nothing seems to come up for him here. We will just enjoy our time here while we can.
  We have now been here for about one month. The kids are all getting comfortable and making friends. They are enjoying the time they get to spend with old friends (the Maravilla's) and they are enjoying the play dates with new friends in our ward and around the neighborhood.
  Malayna has made quite the impression in our ward. I was asked a few time at enrichment night if I had a daughter in primary. After explaining that I had 2 daughters in primary and figuring out they were talking about Malayna, they told me the sweetest thing about her. They said, "She is so beautiful, and so kind.", also, "She is such a good example and very polite, and respectful." and, "She is such a good reader, you can tell she is homeschooled." I agreed and said thank you. Talk about a proud mom moment.
  Bobby was a bit shy at his first cub scout meeting. We showed up and found out it was pinewood derby race day! He had been working on his car for a couple of months since we were in Texas, and thought he wouldn't get to race it because we we would leave before it was race day in Texas. I had to call Colt and tell him to load up the other kids and bring the car! It was such a fun night. Bobby's car kept getting last until someone offered him some graphite then he went from last to 4th over all! He was such a good sport and even when he was loosing he was cheering on the other boys.
  CJ was very hesitant to go to his Sunday school class the first time. Lucky for us his teacher happens to be a very sweet kindergarten teacher that works with kids his age everyday! She put him to work right away as her helper. The next Sunday he went right in and started helping her set up chairs!
  Eva has now become "that kid" the one who is super cute but super obnoxious. The same ladies that commented about Nay also told me about Eva. "She is so cute but boy is she a handful.", and "That girl likes to laugh.".  I have always said and I stand by my statement that 4 years old is way harder than 2 years old.
  Lindy is getting so big. She will be 2 at the end of the month! She is potty training herself, I refused to potty train another child so I said she will do it on her own when she is ready. Turns out she is really good at it! She hates wet diapers, one pee and she takes it off runs it to the trash and brings me a new one to put on. She asks me to take her to the potty 3 out 5 poos!!! (I know TMI but this is very exciting for us!)
  Colt and I just got a calling in our new ward. We will be teaching the 13 year olds. We love teaching the youth they are one of our faves. We haven't actually taught a lesson yet. We got the calling the Sunday before General Conference, today we met the kids and are super excited to get to know them. We leave for a couple of weeks to Vegas. Hopefully we get to teach by May!!! Colt is liking the people he gets to work with here. I am enjoying getting to know the sisters in our ward. I even got to go out teaching with the sister missionaries one night!
  Making friends and getting comfortable in new places isn't hard. It just takes you making the first step and putting yourself out there.

Until next time. I love you C,M,B,C,E and L.

At the zoo with some friends.

Lindy playing Kola.

Hiking at Torrey Pines, CA

Colt and his girls on our hike.

CJ really liked this gold fire hydrant.

Bobby and CJ watching the race.

Bobby cheering on the other racers.

USS Midway tour.

Colt's pretty picture no edits at all on this shot!

Lindy's first egg hunt on her own!

Ward primary Easter egg hunt.

Perspective

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” 

― Abraham Lincoln

     Its all a matter of perspective. For us that has changed drastically over the past 15 or so months. For example:

•  We used to think a long car drive was the 12 hours it took to get from Colorado Springs to  Las Vegas. Now a long car ride means 20+ hours split into two "short" driving days.
• We used to think that we needed all of our stuff. Now we know that the only things we really need are a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food in bellies and each other.
• We used to think that our 4 bedroom 2 bathroom 2000sq ft house was getting "small". Now after a year in hotels we think that this 2 bedroom 2 bathroom 900sq ft condo is a great size for our family.
• We used to think staying in one place for a few years was a long time. Now staying somewhere for a "long time" to us means 6 months.
• We used to think we lived far from the beach when it was 1,150 miles. Now we think we live far from the beach when it is more than 20 miles.                                                                                      

    Perspective is a funny thing. The same thing can mean totally different things to the each person. We often hear how crazy our life is. For us though there is nothing crazy about it. We have what we need and what we love the most. So in closing a quote from Tim Burton, “One person's craziness is another person's reality.”

   Here are some pictures of this "huge" condo. :) All the kids sleep in the master bedroom, where there is 1 queen, 2 twins, and 1 toddler bed. Mom and dad share the other room. There is a kitchen, dining area, and living room.

On the Road Again

   Our drive from Austin to San Diego went very smoothly. We have been blessed with children who are amazing travelers. They no longer ask questions like, "Are we there yet?" or "How much longer?" because we never answer them or we say something like "Does it look like we are there?" or "As long as it takes.". The car was packed to the rim, yet each of us had a seat with enough space. We took our time and took 3 days to get to our destination. We drove about 10 hours the first day, 7 hours the second day and finished the last 2 hours on the third day. On the second day we made it to the city I was born in, Brawley, CA. We stopped here for the purpose of seeing my grandparents and getting some food from one of my favorite places. 

   It is so nice to be back in San Diego! Our allergies are almost completely nonexistent! The weather is always beautiful! There are so many things to do and see. Oh and I love the beach!! It will be an AWESOME summer here!!!

Happiness

   So this post was kind of inspired by a friend of mine. After she and I talked on the phone a couple of weeks ago (you know who you are). We got talking about future plans and if she and her husband were really happy. So that made me want to think, reflect and talk with Colt to see if he and I are truly happy.

   This is what we came up with, the short answer is YES! Let me elaborate. 

   We often hear from our extended family and friends, "I don't know how you live like that." "I could never do that." "I would miss my stuff too much." "I would get sick of being on the road." "That would suck, moving around all the time." "Whatever works, I guess."

   Which made me wonder, if people thought we were unhappy with where our life and choices have taken us.

   So Colt and I had a "sit down". I began with "We need to talk." just to get him a little jumpy. I asked him to think about it and tell me if he was really happy in and with his life right now. He started with his job, he likes what he does. He enjoys the people he gets to meet and work with. He enjoys the hours and the pay. He enjoys all the places (travel wise) it has taken him. So job....happy...check. Next on to family, he enjoys that we get to be together on the road. He enjoys all the time he gets to spend with the kids and I. He enjoys being able to show the country to the kids. He enjoys how close our family has become. He enjoys our marriage and our friendship. So family life.....happy....check. Onto personal and spiritual, he is happy with his personal time. He enjoys church. He enjoys fun game time once in a while. He enjoys exploring everything. So personal and spiritual.....happy....check. So yes Colt is happy about where and what and who and how he is in his life right now.

   My turn. I enjoy my "job" as mother and wife. I enjoy my time with my kids, its not easy but I do enjoy it. I love being Colt's wife, he takes great care of me and our children. We know that there is not a thing any of us will have to worry about, as long as he is here. He really is my best friend. Since I keep the books, I can honestly say that I am happy financially speaking, we are not rolling in the dough but we have what we need and no money stress. I am satisfied with who I am personal and spiritually. I have grown so much and in so many ways the past few years. I enjoy all of our travels. I enjoy getting to see new places and meet new people. I enjoy being on this amazing adventure with my family. I am glad to share in all the these wonderful memories we are making for and with our kids. So yes I too am happy with where and what and who and how my life is right now.

   I hope that you are happy too. Things might not always be like you had hoped and dreamed for but happiness is more than that. It starts with a choice. You can't always choose your circumstances but you can choose how you are going to feel about them. I hope you choose joy and happiness, they may be hidden and hard to find but if you look close they are there.

Until next time. I love you C,M,B,C,E and L.